Chapter 5 : Around Town

Being a classy Chinese lady who keeps her cool shouldn't be something you just turn on at networking events and glitzy dinners – it should be a lifestyle. It's easy to be courteous to people you want to impress or who you need something from. What distinguishes class from creep is the ability to be accommodating to everyone, from waiters to business associates to cleaners to kings. As Morrissey says 'It's so easy to laugh, it's so easy to hate, it takes strength to be gentle and kind'. And this is what everyone should aim for.

Showing respect and etiquette around town doesn't mean being a pushover or letting everyone in front of you in the queue until the store closes. It means doing little things that aren't really that difficult but which can make everyone's life easier.

Transport

1. Let everyone off the metro/bus/boat before you get on to avoid having to push and shove your way in.

2. Always offer your seat to someone who may need it, particularly those with special needs, pregnant women, the elderly and those with children. Nothing screams unattractive and uncaring more than a girl sitting down when someone clearly needs the space – no matter how beautiful you are or good your posture.

3. Use earphones when on public transport. You might care about what happens in the latest episode of your favourite soap but, honestly, nobody else does. The same goes for games on your phone. Either plug it in or turn the sound off.

4. Similarly, if you need to talk on the phone – or even to someone next to you – keep it down.

5. If notice yourself breaking any of these rules, remember to apologize.

In Town

1. Stand on the right hand side of the escalator so people in a rush can get past easily (this is common in many places, including Hong Kong, where standing on the left can be considered extremely rude).

2. Hold doors open for people behind you. If someone does this for you, smile and say thank you.

3. Be polite to those working in the service industry. Don't shoot the messenger if things aren't going your way. Say thank you after a transaction NOTE: In some places, particularly English speaking countries, it is quite normal for people to say thank you five or six times in the course of paying for something.

作为一名经典的中国女人，保持优雅的一面不应当仅仅在社交场合和晚宴上展示，这应当是你的日常生活风格。对于你看重的人，或者你有所相求的人彬彬有礼相对容易。然而高下立断就看一个人如何对待他周围的人，包括从服务员，清洁工，到商业同行，和一国之首。墨里西曾说“笑容易，恨容易，要做到彬彬有礼却得花大力气。”这就是人人都要努力追求的境界。

尊重他人，礼貌待人并不意味着就做一个软柿子，对每一个排在你身后的人都礼让三先直到商店关门，而是意味着做一些力所能及的事，从而使这个世界更加美好。

交通礼仪

1. 先下后上，避免挤挤抗抗。

2. 把位置让给可能有需要的人，特别是孕妇，老人和抱小孩的乘客。占着座位不让给有需要的人，没有什么行为比这更能让一个女孩顿失优雅与智慧了，不管她多漂亮，占座的姿势多美丽。

3. 在公共交通上要戴耳机。你也许对你最爱的肥皂剧更新到第几集很感兴趣，但是，实话说别人就不一定关心。同样在手机上玩游戏也是一样的。要么戴耳机要么把声音调小。

4. 同样，如果对着手机说话，或者对着邻座说话，请小声点。

5. 如果发觉自己破坏了什么规矩，请道歉。

城市礼节

1. 乘扶梯时靠右站，以便赶时间的人能从左边顺利通过扶梯。（这一点在多数地方都适用，包括香港，站在右边会被认为非常没有礼貌。）

2. 为身后的人扶一下门。如果有人这样为你做，请报以微笑，并说声谢谢。

3. 对待服务行业的人要礼貌。如果服务有些慢请不要对大声呼喊。在交易结束后请道谢。在许多说英语国家，在结账时说个四五遍谢谢是非常正常的。